- Jun 18, 2019
- 3 min read

Top Knot-ch Lady

Hello beautiful jewels. What a weekend it has been. I celebrated my cousin’s 20th Wedding Anniversary on Saturday and what a wonderful celebration it was. Considering the day before, I had lost faith in the entire process of building a sustainable relationship with a “regular” individual, I realised there was still a bit of hope out there seeing how happy and loving Winifred and Christopher both were on their day.

Just this Friday, I experienced another situation in which I was faced with this skewed perception of love and it came in the form of a manipulative narcissist. I was made to feel “not good enough”, I was told my outfit choice in this blog post was all wrong. I was made to feel like my needs were unimportant. I was gas lit, belittled, disrespected and spoken badly to…and all because they did not get their own way. I was made to question whether or not the problem of selecting the right people around me starts with me. In so doing, I have noticed that the same kind of people are attracted to me both platonically and romantically; from family, friends and even partners. It made me wonder what energy I subconsciously exuded to beckon these types of people to me. I realised I had it all wrong all this while because during my formative years, my definition of what love is, is related closely to what emotional abuse looks like. Was I aware that this is what was happening at the time? No, not really but we thank God that my eyes have been opened in the last year and a bit.

Saturday was a beautiful reminder of how blessed I am. I felt like a top notch lady both aesthetically and mentally. I realised that I cannot give up hope in love. Through the chaos that ensued from a shambolic display from similar individuals at the event, I was able to stand with my head held high as God positioned me up front and centre to not be embarrassed of being who I am regardless of who was around. The phoney gestures from those who claim to care was duly noted as master Jesus removed those with unclean intentions for me from my close vicinity, whilst ensuring that those who cared showed up for me and stood by me at the most crucial time during the day. This thus enabled me to enjoy the event with those who pray with me, wish well for me and have helped me through the toughest time in my life.

I cannot be more thankful to the celebrants by big sister Winifred and my big brother Christopher for being the best examples of how family should be. God will continue to bless your union and cover your entire family as He has done over the years. Father’s Day this year was not as hard as previous ones and I know now that regardless of how much I miss my dad, he speaks to me through the Almighty and is my guardian angel keeping me safe from inauthentic people.

Anyhoo, to close, I know my outfit was dope. I did my hair in a top knot using some HeyCurls clip-ins and loved having my hair away from my face. I looked lovely and this look was endorsed by my wonderful friend (and her baby) who said she loves my flare for fashion.